Saturday, June 12, 2010

Utah Valley Marathon


Another marathon?! Seriously . . .

When I woke up this morning at 2 a.m. I just didn't think I had it in me to run another 26.2 miles. I felt lethargic in the shower, lethargic eating my bagel and banana, and lethargic on the bus riding up the canyon.

Normally, I am a bundle of nerves and have to use the porta potty at least 5 times before the race. Unfortunately, I think my lethargy affected my bowels in a negative manner before the race. My normally OVERACTIVE bowels would not cooperate. When I sat down in the pitch dark at 4:30 a.m. on the plastic seat inside the Honey Bucket, I was unsuccessful -- 3 different times. I think it may have been because my porta potty was set up on a slant, tipping dangerously forward in an overgrown field. I was scared to death that the cubicle was going to fall over with me in it! I was so scared, that nothing that I wanted to have happen pre-race, happened . . . Miracle of miracles. The deed that didn't happen pre-race, didn't happen during the race either. Yeah!!

Of course, a race with Vanessa in it, wouldn't be a race without some unseemly, nasty body function occuring, and of course I SHOULD NOT MENTION what happened. No one needs to know. But . . . I'm going to mention it anyways. I don't know if it was the rain falling around me, or the constant drinking I did at the aid stations, but . . . I had to pee . . . A LOT!

What if YOU had to pee, say 10-12 times during a race. Would you . . .
A. Stop at every porta potty you see along the route to pee in a "purified" hole.
B. Squat by the side of the road or behind a bush and ignore the people running by you.
C. Pee on yourself.
D. Pray that your bladder will hold until the end.

Well, "normal" people would choose "A" or "D" everytime. I, on the other hand, have turned into such a gross person, that it didn't even phase me to choose "C" . . . everytime! After all, had I stopped at a porta potty each time I had to go, I never would've finished the race.

To sum up Utah Valley . . . The race was HARD! Not only did I have wet drawers, but there were lots of hills -- up and down. As I ran along, I kept thinking of the poor person that had to give me a ride home after the marathon. I really need to start carrying an extra pair of shorts along with me!!

Luckily, my sweet Dad offered to give me a ride home. I put a blanket on the seat of his van, sat down, cracked a window, and prayed that he wouldn't notice . . . That man deserves a medal!

**Note** The race ended up being another AMAZING experience. Jeff, Sterling, Marisa, Jamie, and I . . . all qualified for Boston 2011!

9 comments:

Lindsay said...

way to go!!! Major congrats on qualifying for BOSTON!!!!

Christine Schultz said...

This is going to sound stupid, but I've always wondered about that. I mean, you have to keep yourself well hydrated... which means, you will need to potty as well. And if you stop for that, it adds time. What do all of the other runners do?

Melissa said...

I'm with Christine, what do all the other runners do?
That is great that you and your friends all qualified for Boston! Congrats! You did AWESOME!

Vanessa said...

I think that MOST runners just have better bladder control than I do. I also know some that can make a quick potty stop and then run fast to catch up and make up some time. Unfortunately, when I stop, I have trouble starting up again!

Jo Ashcroft said...

Oh my god, you are amazing. I have just run in the Christchurch (NZ) marathon in a lowly 5 hours, so I know what an achievement qualifying for Boston is. You ROCK!

And... if Paula Radcliffe can squat at the side of the road... us mere mortals can do what we like!!!

You are seriously amazing!

The Heaton's said...

Congrats Vanessa! You are amazing!

Calee said...

I will never ever run that far, but I have done a half; and I chose B: pretended like I wasn't visible in such a glorious stance peeing on my shoes;). You're right though, once my legs stop once they don't go anymore!

Calee said...

and PS, my verification word was DEPENDZ. hehe!

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