Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Top Stories in the News

One of the top news stories today on MSN was about "cheesy" smelling men. The article was written by an M.D. for Harvard Health Publications, so it must be legit. Have any of you ever dealt with this problem?

Q: In the last three months, my husband has started sweating profusely when he is asleep. His sweat has a strong cheesy smell and I can no longer tolerate it. His hygiene is perfect. He is in his fifties. I'm afraid this could be a sign of something serious. What can it be?

A: Night sweats are very common and most often the cause is not serious. The cheesy smell also is not unusual. Some Swiss researchers actually studied the smell of sweat in men and women. Sweaty men tended to smell like cheese, while sweaty women smelled like onions or grapefruit.

Sidenote: If Aaron ever starts to smell like cheese, I will NOT tolerate it. I love cheese, but only on sandwiches.

Another headliner in the news is the nation's concern over the recent outbreak of Swine Flu. An article on MSN said the best way to protect yourself is to increase your distance from others in social situations. For those of you who live in my neighborhood, please don't take offense when I don't answer the door or if I stand about 10 feet away from you on the sidewalk during a conversation. It's not you -- and it's not that you smell like cheese, onions, or grapefruit -- I just don't want to take any chances on catching the Pig Influenza!!

Sidenote: They have doctor's face masks on sale this week at Albertsons (a pack of 100 for only $8). You better hurry down to pick some up. It's the new rage in fashion.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

You Never Know What You'll Find at The CougarEat!

I had a request for the "How I Met My Husband" story, so here it goes . . .

On a warm September morning in the fall of '92, I was sitting in the CougarEat at BYU with my legs propped up under the table. I had already eaten breakfast at the dining hall at Deseret Towers, didn't have to be to class for an hour, and was people watching as I pretended to read my Child Development assignment. I felt slightly uncomfortable in my navy blue polka dot dress shorts which were Honor's Code length when I stood up, but were starting to inch up when I was in a seated position, partly due to my growing waistline from the delicious 2nd and 3rd helpings I partook of on a daily basis with my free meal card.

As I leaned over to pull my shorts down to a more suitable length, I heard a male voice say, "May I sit here?" I looked up and saw the most gorgeous pair of blue eyes staring at me.

When I meet someone for the first time, there is usually lots of nervous laughter from my end, so my response sounded something like . . . "Oh, sure. Yes. Ha! Ha! No one is sitting here. Ha! Ha! I'm just sitting here studying. Ha! Ha! What's your name? Mine's Vanessa. He! He!"

"Hi. I'm Aaron."

We did the normal, get-to-know-you chit chat while he ate his eggs and potatoes. Whenever there was silence, I would just do some more nervous laughter.

"You sure laugh a lot. Would you like to go to Johnny B's Comedy Club on Friday?"

To make a long story short, I accepted the invitation to Johnny B's, he picked me up wearing a black leather jacket and driving a black Fiero (a sure way to a girl's heart in 1992), I laughed a lot, I kissed him, he kissed me back, we got married a year and a half later, and are in the process of living happily ever after.

The End . . . Ha! Ha! Ha!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Luckiest

I love the words to the song, "The Luckiest."

I don't get many things right the first time,
in fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns the stumbles,
and falls brought me here
And where was I before the day
that I first saw your lovely face,
now I see it every day
And I know

That I am, I am, I am, the luckiest

What if I had been born fifty years before you
in a house on the street
where you lived
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike. Would I know?
And in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize

And I know

That I am, I am, I am, the luckiest

I love you more then have
ever found the way to say
to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties and one day
passed away in his sleep,
and his wife, she stayed for a couple of days, and passed away

I'm sorry I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong,

That I know


Isn't this song strangely depressing and happy at the same time? My brother, Josh, has been planning to sing this song to his future fiance when he asks her to marry him. She'll probably be sobbing so much hearing about the old couple dying together, that she won't hear him ask the big question. Anyways . . . back to me.

The words to this song really make me contemplate my life and how it would be completely different if I had taken a different step this way or that way. Lots of "What Ifs!" What if I had never came out to Utah to go to school? What if I hadn't been sitting in the CougarEat when Aaron walked by on September 22, 1992? (I made that date up by the way. I wish I could remember the exact day we met!) What if I hadn't gone out on a date to Johnny B's Comedy Club with Aaron Heber and laughed till my sides hurt? What if I hadn't brazenly kissed him on our first date? I think that definitely sealed the deal for a 2nd date!!

It doesn't seem possible, but today is our fifteenth wedding anniversary. Aaron PROMISED me we weren't going to exchange gifts for our anniversary, so I didn't go shopping. (You'd think I would've learned my lesson from Valentine's Day, but no!!) When I got home this morning, there was a giant Victoria's Secret box sitting on the table. I think someone else is feeling lucky! Ha! Ha!

Thank you, Aaron, for the beautiful card and for the 5 pairs of adorable undies, but thanks most of all for the gift of making me feel like the luckiest girl in the world every single day!

Love you!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Mom, It's Not a Candle!!

We celebrated Josh's birthday on Easter Sunday. He decided to shake things up a bit and chose to have "cow" instead of the traditional "pig" for his Easter/B-Day dinner. After our plates were picked clean, we got ready for the "cake". Josh went out on a limb again and chose a giant chocolate chip cookie instead of the usual Betty Crocker cake mix. I realized I was out of candles, so mom ran home to grab some.

When she returned, I was shocked to see her trying to poke a long stick into the "cake." When she lit it, I smelled a strong odor, like incense, being pumped through the kitchen. What in the world was in that stick? We sang "Happy Birthday" quickly, as we saw the giant stick candle starting to topple over. Josh blew and blew to get the flame out.

Upon closer examination of the candle stick, Josh looked at Mom and said, "Mom, this is one of the chopsticks I bought you as a souvenir from Taiwan! What in the world?!" Josh has to understand, when it's your b-day, your Mom will do just about ANYTHING to put a candle on your cake, except break the Sabbath to buy some real candles -- even if it means burning up a missionary memento from Taiwan. Happy Birthday, Josh!

The Easter Bunny Gets Gas?!

The Easter Bunny left the kids some notes this year which led them on a scavenger hunt to their baskets. The notes revealed some interesting facts about Mr. Bunny:
1) Carson left the Easter Bunny some Starbursts to go along with the carrots, but the bunny was unable to partake as "sweets give him gas."
2) The Easter Bunny "gets sweaty carrying around all of the gift baskets and has to take showers at each pit stop."
3) The Easter Bunny "drinks Mountain Dew to help refresh himself along the way."
4) The Easter Bunny is abnormally tall and buff, as he lugged a 6 foot tall fishing pole into our home for Ian. By the way: the pole is to take on our trip to San Diego, California this summer. How in the world are we going to fit a pole that long into our vehicle?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Men are Cows!!

I walked by the bathroom a minute ago. The door was open, and Ian was sitting on the pot. I tried to continue along my merry way, holding my breath of course, when Ian said, "Guess what, Mom? Men have udders!" I was in shock for a minute, trying to make this strange connection, when it hit me.

"You mean men have one udder, right, Ian?"

He contemplated that for a moment, chuckled, and replied, "Oh, yeah!"

I just can't wait to see what sort of adults my children are going to turn out to be!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Comment of the Day

After the male cashier at Bath & Body Works rang up my purchase he asked, "Ma'am, would you like a bag for your pump soaps?"

In my head: "No, Sir! I would not like a bag. I am going to carry all 6 of these soaps one mile through the mall while I continue shopping and then another mile back to my car. I'm not trying to conserve paper here! Give me a bag!!"

Out loud: "Yes. I'd like a bag, please."

After he loaded the soaps into the 2 cent paper bag, he said, "Ma'am, may I get your phone number?"

In my head: "Why would Bath & Body Works need my phone number? Maybe they want to take a survey asking customers whether or not bags are really a necessity!"

Out loud: "No, Sir! I am not comfortable giving out my phone number!"

I grabbed my purchases and ran out of the store before he could ask me for his bag back!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Creative Way to Cheer Up Your Grouchy PreSchooler

If you ever need to turn that frown upside down . . .

Hook your kid up to some laughing gas . . .

And you'll end up with a happy camper!!

P.S. Some may say there are cheaper ways to cheer up your child, such as a trip to the Dollar Store, but this technique is actually 100% covered by most insurance plans!

Scary Easter Disguises

We heard the Easter Bunny may not be coming to our house this year, so the kids decided to disguise themselves in some scary Easter gear and steal some unsuspecting neighborhood kids' Easter baskets. Aren't these the scariest Easter masks you've ever seen? Where did sweet Peter Cottontail hop off to?