Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dear Nessie . . . (the World's Worst Advice Columnist)

Dear Nessie,

I am trying to return to activity after an injury. I enjoy jogging but can't seem to make it past the first couple of miles without having to get off the treadmill to GO. I'm too dumb for step aerobics or kickboxing so this has got to stop!

Sincerely,
Restroom Runner

Dear Restroom Runner,

I LOVE this question, because the topic is so close to my . . . heart. Here's my advice: When you have to GO during a run, just hop off that treadmill and GO! I have found that it is actually a nice chance to stop and take a breather. In fact, sometimes, I pretend that I have to GO just so I can rest.

I have asked numerous professionals about solutions to these "Runner's Runs." They have all said that some of us are just blessed with the gift of busy bowels. The only solution they have offered is to take some Imodium, which then STOPS you up for the rest of the week and makes you feel heavy and unable to run. I would only turn to the Imodium in dire emergencies!

I remember one morning during a treadmill run, I actually had to use the restroom 6 times . . . and none of them were "pretend" bathroom visits. I really had to GO all 6 times. I realize now that it may have been the Little Caesar's Pizza I'd eaten the night before. At first I was embarrassed to keep running to the restroom, but then I thought, "You know, the people running on either side of me should just be grateful that I stop to GO! And besides, they don't know what I am doing in the bathroom. Maybe they think I am reapplying my lipgloss after every mile."

Sorry about the rambling.

Another solution to the Runner's Runs. Don't run. Cycle instead. You can go to a cycling class where it is pitch black and no one can see you. You can work as hard or as easy as you want and it takes absolutely NO coordination. Believe me. I have none. Also, I have NEVER had to go to the bathroom during a cycling class. You can also go into the cycling room and cycle alone with your Ipod when there isn't a class in there. They even have fans to keep you cool. Lots of perks to the cycling.

My last thought. I'm so proud of you for exercising through your injury! You are amazing Restroom Runner!

Good luck!
Nessie

3 comments:

Calee said...

Hmm, thanks for the thoughts. Maybe I'll have to start following your Runner's Runs blog a little closer to commiserate!

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