Today is February 14, 2009, the day of love, here in Spanish Fork! Most lovers, young and old alike, are exchanging gifts of chocolate, flowers, and loving messages on this beautiful, snowy day. Unfortunately, one of our local residents, Vanessa Heber, was caught working out at the local Gold's Gym this morning, instead of making her husband breakfast in bed, or doing any of the niceties that wives usually perform on this special day.
When questioned about her morning activities and gift buying for this "lovely" holiday, Vanessa answered, "I set out Valentine's treats on the kitchen table last night for the kids, so they would find them this morning when they wake up. Unfortunately, after 15 years of marriage, I couldn't think of anything to buy my husband. I'm sure he didn't get me anything. Plus, he'll still be in bed when I get home from the gym!"
Unfortunately, things did not go as planned this Valentine's Day morning for the above mentioned, Vanessa Heber. On returning home from the gym, this "lame wife" walked into the kitchen to find 2 large boxes, one from Nordstroms, and one from Red Envelope. Sources say a "look of shock and horror passed over her face" when she realized her "sleepy husband" was in fact, not "still in bed" but up and about delivering Valentine's cheer. Heber's husband received narry a chocolate, flower, or card filled with sweet nothings in return, but instead, heard excuses like, "I thought we weren't exchanging gifts this year!"
Hopefully, this is a lesson to all for Valentines 2010: "NEVER show up empty-handed Valentine's morning. You never know if this is the year YOUR spouse will decide to be an overachiever."