Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I read an article this morning in a running magazine about how to go about buying a sports bra. Here are direct quotes from the article, and the thoughts I had while reading it:
Article: "Try on a sports bra as you would running shoes."
Vanessa: Are you kidding me?! Why would I put a bra on my feet?
Article: "Most specialty running stores have a treadmill or track set up for trying out their running shoes." (this was implying that you could try out your shoes and your bra on the treadmill at the store!)
Vanessa: Where do I find a running store like that? Not in Utah County! And besides, even if the store did have a treadmill for trying on shoes, wouldn't the salesperson think it was extremely odd if I asked to try on a sports bra and then hopped on the treadmill to check out my bounce?
Article: "If the store doesn't have a track or treadmill, run in place in the dressing room." (again, to check out your bounce!)
Vanessa: Wouldn't people wonder why there was heavy breathing coming from my dressing room?
Article: "Move in ways that give your breasts every opportunity to move up and down, in and out, and in a figure eight, which is similar to the movement they actually make while you run."
Vanessa: No matter how many opportunities I give my breasts to move . . . they don't. I thought a figure eight was for ice skating!
Article: "For high-impact sports such as running, a bra featuring both compression and encapsulation is ideal. Compression bras minimize movement by pressing flat against your chest. Encapsulating sports bras, add shape and structure and keep each breast separated."
Vanessa: I'm sorry, but I just don't understand any of this. I certainly don't need COMPRESSION and no sports bra I've ever found has added any shape or structure to my body!
Article: "You should own several sports bras and should never wear the same one two days in a row."
Vanessa: Really?! You mean I can't just keep rewearing the same one everyday for 3 YEARS in a row? (No wonder I've had an odor problem.)
Article: "Finding the right sports bra is a time-consuming process, but if you start your search equipped with this article's advice, you'll be well on your way to bra nirvana. Not only will you feel more comfortable during your workouts, but you'll look fabulous, too."
Vanessa's Thoughts: Please!! This is my advice for finding a sports bra. Walk into your local WalMart and buy the first sports bra you see. Nobody sees it. All a sports bra has ever done for me is squash whatever I've got on top completely flat. Besides, I think the furthest thing from anyone's mind that passes me on a run is . . . "Ooh, look at that girl in her well-fitting sports bra. Doesn't her Size AA chest look absolutely fabulous today. And check out that Figure 8 she's doing up there on top. She is so talented!"