Monday, November 26, 2012

Awkward Family Photo and Awkward Family Stories

Splish, splash
Hebers taking a bath
Out in the open air

Just hangin' in the tub
Thinkin' everything was normal

We were wedged in real tight
Kids were starting to fight
We tried to escape
But it was way too late
and then
Splish Splash
We were stuck in the bath
How were we to know there
were people looking on?

There was a splishin' and splashin'
Screamin' and a leanin'
Pinchin' and a punchin'
Awkward moments on a Saturday night . . .

This year I decided to save the trees (and a little money) by posting our Christmas picture/card online instead of  sending the traditional card in the mail.  Our family loves looking at for entertainment.  We tried to stage our own awkward family photo for Christmas this year; thus the photo in the bathtub.  Count your blessings that we are fully clothed.  I also decided to share some of our more Awkward Heber Moments from 2012.  Anything I can do to embarrass the family. :)  Here it goes:

Awkward Moment #1
Aaron was in Costco with me shopping for groceries.  We were in a hurry that day.  Aaron was pushing the cart and following me at top speed.  He stopped for a second to taste a sample, grabbed the cart again and resumed our high paced sprint around the produce section.  Suddenly we heard, "Sir, sir!!  You have my cart.  My purse is in there.  Sir, stop!"  Aaron had stolen an elderly woman's cart.  She had an accusing look in her eye as Aaron apologized to her for his mistake.  I know she thought he was a real life thief trying to run off with her purse.  Awkward!!

Awkward Moment #2
I decided to take swim lessons at the beginning of the year.  My swim coach was male.  I finished a lap across the pool and came up to take a breath and get some critiques.  I looked down.  My left nipple (I think it was the left) was hanging out of my swim suit top. Awkward!!

Awkward Moment #3 (this one is a couple of years old)
Cali was taking a social dance class.  She had stayed home sick one day from school with a stomach bug, but had to go back the next day for some important tests even though she hadn't fully recuperated. She had social dance that day.  After a couple of twirls around the dance floor with her partner, she vomited all over the front of him.  I went to school to pick up Cali.  I asked the teacher if I could help clean up the mess.  Awkward!!

Awkward Moment #4
Aaron and Ian were in line at Kmart behind an elderly woman (what is it about my husband and elderly women?).  The poor lady swiped her debit card and entered her PIN number about 10 times.  She could not get the PIN correct.  Ian was getting antsy.  She finally brought out her check book.  "I will pay with a check instead," she told the cashier.  Then, to Ian's chagrin, the woman realized she was out of checks.  "I will try my debit card again," she told the frustrated cashier.

Suddenly, Ian let out a gigantic, loud sigh and said, "Oh, no!" in a voice much louder than he had anticipated.  Everyone in the line heard him.  The cashier heard him.  The elderly woman heard him.  Awkward!!

Awkward Moment #5
Ian refuses to throw away his old underwear.  I'm pretty sure he still owns some pairs of undees he wore as a 5-year-old.  He is 14 now.  He is a growing boy.  He is taller.  He weighs more now.  He should not be wearing these underwear.  He gives a whole new meaning to "tighty whities." One night he sprinted up the stairs in one of these pairs of particularly skin-tight underwear.  His poor 12-year-old sister, Nyah, caught a frontal shot and started screaming, "Ian, gross.  Oh, my gosh.  Sick!  Put on some clothes.  Mom!  Dad!  Ian is so disgusting!" Awkward!!

Awkward Moment #6
Carson paid me to not post any of his awkward moments.

Welcome to our life.  Here's to many more awkward moments in 2013.  We are so grateful to all of our friends and family members who pretend we are semi-normal.

Happy Holidays!
The Heber Family


Trisha said...

You guys are great!

Our Family said...

We look forward to your Christmas card every will do! Thanks for the laugh and MERRY CHRISTMAS! Love, The Coffin Family :)