Multi-Tasking During a Marathon

I am a great multitasker during everyday life: I do the dishes and watch a television show on the computer simultaneously, I vacuum and listen to music, I mop the floors and talk on the phone.

During a marathon, I am usually only good at doing one thing at a time: running, or talking, or drinking, or pooing . . . Keep it simple, right?! One thing at a time.

Well, today I switched things up a bit. I multi-tasked during the entire marathon:

1) I felt sick to my stomach and ran at the same time.
2) I ate GU chomps while running, gagged profusely, and spit them out onto a fellow runner -- all at the same time.
3) I stopped at a Porta potty at Mile #13 to get rid of some Runner's Runs. While sitting on the dirty potty, I opened a buzz bite, chewed it, swallowed it with some water, and violently threw up everything into the urinal and onto my lap. It was my finest moment.
4) Made 5 new friends WHILE running. By friends I mean, I talked to people I didn't know before the marathon. Most of the conversations were instigated by the lettering I had applied to my legs earlier that day. My left leg read: The Runner's Runs Suck. My right leg read: I Am A Silly Yak.
5) I danced while running and listening to a rap song at Mile 23.
6) I laid down on a cot at the "Sick Tent" after the marathon, listened to music, talked to a nurse, and drank a chocolate milk . . . all at the same time.
7) Took a shower when I got home, collapsed in the shower from stomach ailments, sat on the pot, threw up in a nearby trashcan, and texted my mother-in-law . . . all at the same time.

As you can see . . . I'm pretty much an AMAZING Marathon MULTI-TASKER!! Currently, I am typing this blog entry, eating chips and salsa, drinking Diet Pepsi with lime, and thinking about puking in a bucket again. I'm telling you, the multi-tasking never ends!