Saturday, June 11, 2011

Multi-Tasking During a Marathon

I am a great multitasker during everyday life: I do the dishes and watch a television show on the computer simultaneously, I vacuum and listen to music, I mop the floors and talk on the phone.

During a marathon, I am usually only good at doing one thing at a time: running, or talking, or drinking, or pooing . . . Keep it simple, right?! One thing at a time.

Well, today I switched things up a bit. I multi-tasked during the entire marathon:

1) I felt sick to my stomach and ran at the same time.
2) I ate GU chomps while running, gagged profusely, and spit them out onto a fellow runner -- all at the same time.
3) I stopped at a Porta potty at Mile #13 to get rid of some Runner's Runs. While sitting on the dirty potty, I opened a buzz bite, chewed it, swallowed it with some water, and violently threw up everything into the urinal and onto my lap. It was my finest moment.
4) Made 5 new friends WHILE running. By friends I mean, I talked to people I didn't know before the marathon. Most of the conversations were instigated by the lettering I had applied to my legs earlier that day. My left leg read: The Runner's Runs Suck. My right leg read: I Am A Silly Yak.
5) I danced while running and listening to a rap song at Mile 23.
6) I laid down on a cot at the "Sick Tent" after the marathon, listened to music, talked to a nurse, and drank a chocolate milk . . . all at the same time.
7) Took a shower when I got home, collapsed in the shower from stomach ailments, sat on the pot, threw up in a nearby trashcan, and texted my mother-in-law . . . all at the same time.

As you can see . . . I'm pretty much an AMAZING Marathon MULTI-TASKER!! Currently, I am typing this blog entry, eating chips and salsa, drinking Diet Pepsi with lime, and thinking about puking in a bucket again. I'm telling you, the multi-tasking never ends!


Trisha said...

Oh my goodness! Can I make dinner for you guys? Pick something up at the store or run another errand for you? Vanessa, it sounds like you need a break! Call me if you need anything--REALLY:)

Calee said...

Well Jed said you looked great at whatever mile it was that he saw you on! His friend that runs makes me want to do it with him but I would beat even you at the runner's runs;)

Reuben said...

This is surprising. I always thought that pooing and running at the same time was one of your strongest talents.