Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A Colonoscopy Brings Out Your True Colors

Getting a colonoscopy is such a treat! You get to drink down bottles of magnesium citrate, spend hours in the restroom, fast for at least 24 hours, suffer the side effects of Demerol, and best of all, have a couple of complete strangers look inside your bum!

Right before the anesthesiologist put me to sleep, I remember looking at the doctor and saying, "I sure hope my butt isn't the ugliest one you've ever seen!"

The next thing I knew, I was walking to the car with Aaron holding me up. I found out later that Demerol turns me into a curser. In real life, I rarely swear (except in my head) but Aaron said I repeatedly sat up in the recovery bed and proclaimed, "Guess what? My A#* doesn't even hurt!" I also hugged the nurse and told her she was my best friend in the world. Of course, I remember none of this!

It turns out that a colonoscopy gives you peace of mind, but is also a major source of embarrassment. Thank goodness I don't have to curse again until I'm 50!

8 comments:

homegirl said...

hahahahaha! That is so funny! I can totally see you all wasted, laughing it all up and saying that!

BushlingX7 said...

LOL!! That is so funny! I am sure the a Colonoscopy and being drunk would be the same for you so thank goodness you don't do one of them and you don't have to do the other for years!!

Stina said...

You are my favorite! I love your stories!! Why do they all have to do with that part of your body though? :)

Christine Schultz said...

Oh boy! I'm due to have a colonoscopy in November. YIKES! Actually, maybe I should schedule the week after Thanksgiving. That should take care of the over indulgences! I could use a recommendation for a good doctor.

Lohra said...

I always knew you had a vulgar streak. I miss you guys!

Divemaster said...

You've got to have it done once each 5 years. I think embarassment must not prevent people of taking care of their health. Have to admit for me it felt even more intimidating than my very first dive with scuba:)))))

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