I Have a New Condition

(Charles' shoe was not injured in anyway during the filming of this project!)

Recently (by recently I mean the past 6 months) I have thoroughly enjoyed chewing on pieces of crushed ice. I especially enjoy it after the ice has been sitting in a glass of water for about 10 minutes. It has a perfect chewing texture at this point . . . not tough ice that may break a tooth, not almost-melted ice that instantly melts on your tongue . . . but . . . basically, a perfectly cold, but chewable piece of ice. Make sense?!

My family has questioned my ice chewing recently.

"Why are you always chewing on ice, Mom?"

"That's going to break your teeth, Mom!"

"Is there a reason you are crunching ice cubes again, Mom?!"

I tried to explain to my children that I'm sure the ice chewing ties into the iron deficiency that I was diagnosed with. I was anemic for a total of 2 days before the doctor decided I was no longer anemic. Confusing, huh?! Well the kids know that I was only diagnosed as being anemic for 2 days, so they thought that explanation for my ice chewing was just plain silly. I thought about calling the doctor about my ice-chewing problem so that I could have a more educated explanation for my kidlets, but decided my doctor may think I'm already wackier than he already does. Instead I put on my sleuthing hat and decided to Google "ice chewing" instead. This is what I found out.

The practice of chewing on ice is known as PAGOPHAGIA and is considered to be a form of pica, a term used to describe the practice of munching on non-food items. People affected by pica not only chew on ice, but may also chew on clay, rocks, and other items not meant for the digestive tract.

(THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE ME CHEWING ON CLUMPS OF DIRT FROM MY BACKYARD YOU'LL KNOW WHY!)

The practice of pagophagia has been associated with nutritional deficiencies, most notably iron deficiency anemia.

(SEE KIDS! I KNEW I WAS RIGHT!)

In some cases pagophagia and the desire to chew on ice can be associated with stress and underlying emotional problems. Chewing on ice becomes a way to deal with issues that can't be dealt with in a healthy and more productive manner.

(UH! OH! I DON'T THINK I'D BETTER TELL THE CHILDREN THIS PART! IT LOOKS LIKE I BETTER CALL MY THERAPIST FRIEND FOR ANOTHER APPOINTMENT . . . I WONDER IF SHE'S EVER DEALT WITH AN "ICE CHEWER" BEFORE?!)

If any of you have a more effective way (than ice chewing) to deal with stress and underlying emotional problems, please let me know ASAP. You never know what this PAGOPHAGIA may have me chewing on next!

Multi-Tasking During a Marathon

I am a great multitasker during everyday life: I do the dishes and watch a television show on the computer simultaneously, I vacuum and listen to music, I mop the floors and talk on the phone.

During a marathon, I am usually only good at doing one thing at a time: running, or talking, or drinking, or pooing . . . Keep it simple, right?! One thing at a time.

Well, today I switched things up a bit. I multi-tasked during the entire marathon:

1) I felt sick to my stomach and ran at the same time.
2) I ate GU chomps while running, gagged profusely, and spit them out onto a fellow runner -- all at the same time.
3) I stopped at a Porta potty at Mile #13 to get rid of some Runner's Runs. While sitting on the dirty potty, I opened a buzz bite, chewed it, swallowed it with some water, and violently threw up everything into the urinal and onto my lap. It was my finest moment.
4) Made 5 new friends WHILE running. By friends I mean, I talked to people I didn't know before the marathon. Most of the conversations were instigated by the lettering I had applied to my legs earlier that day. My left leg read: The Runner's Runs Suck. My right leg read: I Am A Silly Yak.
5) I danced while running and listening to a rap song at Mile 23.
6) I laid down on a cot at the "Sick Tent" after the marathon, listened to music, talked to a nurse, and drank a chocolate milk . . . all at the same time.
7) Took a shower when I got home, collapsed in the shower from stomach ailments, sat on the pot, threw up in a nearby trashcan, and texted my mother-in-law . . . all at the same time.

As you can see . . . I'm pretty much an AMAZING Marathon MULTI-TASKER!! Currently, I am typing this blog entry, eating chips and salsa, drinking Diet Pepsi with lime, and thinking about puking in a bucket again. I'm telling you, the multi-tasking never ends!

Creative Chore Completion

Today was "Chore Day": the kids' favorite day of the week. At the top of Carson's list was "put away laundry." He came out of his room looking a little puffy around the middle. It turns out he didn't want to put his shorts away so HE PUT THEM ALL ON!

Good Cop/Bad Cop

"Modern Family" is one of the funniest shows on television right now. The show depicts our own family to perfection . . . teenage moments, sibling rivalry, marriage relationships . . . It helps me to laugh about our own struggles.

There is one episode called "Good Cop, Bad Dog" that is especially telling. The main theme running throughout this 25 minutes of hysterical laughter is about the different roles Claire and Phil have in leading their family. Claire, the mom, is always the disciplinarian or the "Bad Cop" while Phil, the dad, is always jumping in to save the kids from their tyrant mother.

After watching the show myself and deciding the episode was "kid friendly" I watched it again with Aaron and our 4 children, hoping Aaron would realize maybe he needs to be the "Bad Cop" more often! Everyone loved the show. After it was over, Ian looked at me and said, "Mom, you are the "Bad Cop" in our family and Dad is the "Good Cop". Just like the show!" Ding, ding, ding, ding!! All the kids and Aaron had a good laugh. Then, much to the children's chagrin, I said it was time for bed.

"Can't we watch another episode?" they asked.

"No!" I (the Bad Cop) replied.

Aaron looked hesitant. "Listen to your mother, Kids. Time for bed."

A couple of days after watching this show together, the kids got done with school for the year, and Aaron took off on a work trip to California. Grandma Joannie gave the kids summer passes to Seven Peaks, Trafalga in Orem, and Trafalga in Lehi for their b-days. Free fun everyday!

So, the Good Cop left town leaving the Bad Cop alone with the children. Hmmmm . . . Could the roles be reversed? Could this Bad Cop become a Good Cop? I think she can!!

Friday was our first full day of fun. Off to lunch and Trafalga in Orem:
Free coupons got us lunch at Jason's Deli.
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Here's the Good Cop with a 1/2 of a giant Baked Potato!

Next came the Go Karts! Everyone earned a nickname according to their driving skills:
Idiotic Ian (he tried to run everyone over!)

Nice Nyah (she went about 2 MPH)

Cool Cali (just kickin' back, taking the curves, no probem . . .)

CarSick Mom and Carson (we both felt like we were going to throw up. The GoKart worker got preoccupied and left us on the track for 10 minutes. Much too long!)

Next up . . . Glow in the Dark Mini Golf! I fell off a bench on the course and the kids got quite a chuckle!

Last event of the day . . . shopping at WalMart where Ian lost the smallest tooth in the history of mankind. When I told Ian the Tooth Fairy would only be bringing a nickel for a tooth that size, he promptly threw it in the trash!
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2nd Full Day of Fun
Off to Trafalga in Lehi for more excitement!
Rock Climbing (I took pictures of them with my cell phone and texted them to Aaron with this message: "Who's the Good Cop now?!"



Aaron promptly texted back: "I'm just going to let the kids play computer games and watch movies for 24 hours when I get home, and the Good Cop title will be mine again!"
It's just not right.

Refried Bean Saga

We had a DELICIOUS meal at a friend's home a couple Sunday afternoons back: chicken enchiladas, refried beans, Mexican rice, chips and salsa, and gluten free peanut butter cookies . . . Yummy! They sent us home with baggies of leftovers. I was so excited to have an extra meal for the next week that I didn't need to cook.

One night, Aaron came home from work after the rest of the family had already eaten and cleaned up. He got all the ingredients for the leftover Mexican meal back out of the fridge to warm up for himself. I noticed that he had forgotten the refried beans, so I got the baggy out of the fridge. He plopped big spoonfuls of beans on top of his rice and warmed it all up in the microwave. He sat down to eat, took a big bite, swallowed and said . . .

"Vanessa, these are not refried beans. This is peanut butter cookie dough!" He scraped the offensive dough off of his Mexican rice and continued to eat without saying a word. After all . . . after 16 years of marriage, he's pretty much used to "Vanessa Moments"!

Ian's a 6th Grade Graduate!

My little boy got all spiffied up for 6th grade graduation!

Even during the serious moments, he can't help being a bit of a clown for the camera.

Mrs. Waite is the BEST 6th grade teacher in the universe! We are so thankful for all she taught Ian this year. Here he is with his Honor Roll certificate. Some of the things Ian did to earn it: service hours, cooked dinner, read 20 books, earned great grades, served on the Student Council, practiced instrument everyday. Great work, Ian!

Grandma Joannie came to help celebrate!

Ian's self-portrait mask was a little disturbing. Should I be worried?

I love you more than anything buddy . . . oddities and all! You are going to ROCK Jr. High!